During new moons, I take time to reflect and journal on my emotions. The last new moon on April 30th was in Taurus - a sign that encompasses our safety, security, and stability along with an emphasis on using our senses. So, I decided to ask myself two challenging questions, "How does security feel and when do I know I'm experiencing it?"
Journaling on Security
I sat down to write and my mind went blank - perfect! I'd rather connect to my feelings during this exercise instead of staying in my head. Since the words didn't come, I closed my eyes and repeated the sentence out loud, "how does security feel...?"
At first, my chest and belly clenched. Ah, that's interesting. I repeated the words again. Then my throat constricted, just for a second or two. The longer I sat with the question, the more my body started to relax into the moment.
Then random thoughts flooded into my head: work, what I pay myself, how I make a living, who I spend time with, my age...I didn't fixate on any particular topic. I just noticed how many thoughts were generated by this seemingly benign question.
After some time, a beautiful scene came to mind. It was me standing with my back against a huge tree. I could see the roots extending deep into the ground. Within seconds of seeing the visualization, my body felt strong and very present.
I opened my eyes, picked up my pen and began to write about all the different thoughts that got triggered in the beginning of this reflection. But this time, the words did flow.
Security Feels Like...
Security feels like internal deep roots that I create. My career, clients, and family may shift. The years go by and I continue to age. The home I choose to live in now may look different in a couple years. When these things change, I may initially grip in order to hold on to what is familiar because they have become part of the soil that nourishes my root system.
However, if one or more of these externals starts negatively impacting my sense of stability, then I know my root system has stayed too shallow. My challenge is to release any false sense of security I think these things have given me. Then, I need to check back in with myself and trust in who I am at my core.
This journal prompt isn't a one-and-done exercise. I'll revisit it again, particularly on May 16th when the full moon enters Scorpio (directly opposite the sun in Taurus). I encourage you to create your own new moon reflection. Ask yourself questions. See what emotions arise. Use it as part of your personal growth journey.
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